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Ok999kO commented on
Posted by
4 points · 4 months ago

I would rather have the lights you've described than a typical porch light which is often brighter. And soft little lights sound nice to me. But if there are rules about not having lights up that basically settles things.

The compromise we make when we live in close quarters to others is following the rules and accepting they exist for a reason even if we don't totally see it in the moment. Or we can petition to change the rules or for exceptions. And sometimes we unknowingly (or even knowingly) break them and no one cares and that's all good too.

It's not clear how you know which neighbor complained. I would caution against assuming you know who it was unless they tell you they did. I speak to my neighbors directly but I've found some people are unreasonable and I've decided I will continue to speak to some directly but others I'll just call management on. If a neighbor I called management on without speaking to asked me if I complained about them I would lie and say I did not, lol.

Op-1 points · 4 months ago

I would understand about the whole rules situation if they were actually communicated to us before purchasing the unit… no one was informed and their communication has been garbage in general with everything (I.e., quiet hours, maintenance notices,etc.)

Also to me that’s sad if you had to go to management first before talking to the individual, unless you feel unsafe that’s just childish to me LOL

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2 points · 4 months ago

My habit has always been to talk to neighbors first. But I've come to understand why people don't.

I'm dealing with someone right now who probably has been getting complaints to management and has explicitly told me they think I'm the only one who has a problem with what they're doing. The only reason they would think that is because I'm the only one who spoke to them directly. I didn't feel unsafe but now I have this dude annoying tf out of me and lecturing me about why it's ok for him to break the rules. Until I know someone well enough to gauge their general maturity level, I'm going directly to management from now on.

Ok999kO commented on
Posted by
1 point · 4 months ago · edited 4 months ago

ETA: I see you're already consulting a lawyer. I hope you feel better after that meeting. On the up side you don't want an HOA that is quick to fine or kick someone out but the downside is you have to suffer while they work up to it. Hopefully the lawyer can advice you how to help provide the HOA the kind of evidence they need to help you.


Are you renting?

If so, I would start by looking up local tenant laws. There are often laws that say your landlord has to provide the general standard of housing you originally entered into an agreement with them for so if they don't take care of the issues with your neighbor you can break your lease. Start contacting property management in writing and tailor your letters to the local laws. Look for free tenant rights resources online and consult them. Sometimes they will help you directly with legal matters.

Basically, I'd start looking for a new place to live but cover myself legally to break a lease without any fines.

Ok999kO commented on
Posted by
30 points · 4 months ago

Hmmm. You could just put up the privacy fence and pretend you didn't remember her saying that. It is a completely weird and unreasonable request.

How "nice" are they if their behavior is such that you're considering selling the home to get away from them? It doesn't sound like they have any respect for you. They don't seem to care whether or not you enjoy their conversation, loud music or demands on your attention. Maybe if you block them from trying to socialize with you they'll move on to someone else or get actual pets.

I do recommend digging deep and seeing if there's some of your own behaviors you could modify or work on. Like if you tend to be a people pleaser you could use this as an opportunity to practice better boundaries and getting out of conversations with people who try to trap you in them etc.

Ok999kO commented on
Posted by
-3 points · 4 months ago

What you’re doing is literally considered harassment. You’re right it sucks and children suck on anything but the first floor, but legally you’re gonna be in the wrong.

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1 point · 4 months ago

Lol, I always think it's funny when people get down voted for being reasonable. The neighbor forums can be a particularly unhinged corner of reddit imho.

1 point · 4 months ago

Me too lol. Like, just trying to spew some advice that might save them from legal trouble, but I understand people in the neighbor forums are probably sleepless and cranky as is (including myself sometimes lol)

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1 point · 4 months ago

Hah, true. I usually show up here late at night and in a mood ;)

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Ok999kO commented on
nsfw
Posted by
1 point · 4 months ago

Put up some curtains. There are many options for lightweight curtains that have enough of a pattern to block a view into your place while still allowing for some light and air to pass through. Even a bed sheet will do.

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Ok999kO

u/Ok999kO · 4m
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August 6, 2022