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1095966 commented on
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Op23 points · 1 day ago

Today I was so afraid I wouldn’t be able to get those words out without bursting into tears. I’m just bracing myself for that pitiful look, then watching the fear set in as they try to figure out what the heck to say. I’m also afraid THEY might start to cry when they hear the news. I think I’m going to start telling people I’m in regular communication with — over text.

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3 points · 10 hours ago

Text is how I told the first wave of people but I went in person to tell my family. Didn't tell anyone but 2 people at work for 3 months. I did it when I felt comfortable.

1095966 commented on
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2 points · 2 days ago

I dunno, not making excuses but sometimes they're just genuinely clueless. Like, oh... you want to sleep too? Or just gaping assholes. I'd like to think the vast majority are just clueless.

I have trouble sleeping, kids or not, and my husband zealously guards me when I nap. I'm a SAHM, he works so it makes sense for me to do the night time stuff, but he absolutely will NOT allow the kids to wake me up from a nap.

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1 point · 2 days ago

Unicorn husband, right here.

1095966 commented on
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1 point · 2 days ago

Total cost maybe $10-15,000 in 1998/1999


Paint all interior walls, including ceilings (necessity since entire house was cigarette stained and smelly)

Floor refinishing (not a necessity)

Replace 1970s kitchen (I guess not a necessity but it was nasty)

Replace dryer which turned on, spun and made noise but just didn't dry

Redirect washer water which drained to the street into the septic

Install a french drain and add tar/parge on 2 sides of the house which were leaking with the spring rains

There was more, just can't remember it all. It was steady mostly DIY reno work for about a year.

1 point · 2 days ago

You might just have a standard longhair. Even if she has some pedigree, they all basically require the same love and care. Bring her to a vet and get her checked out, I'd imagine an owner who would just leave their cat behind wasn't the best in terms of providing medical care for their pet either.

She looks a little like my floofball. Not that I think it helps with the hair all around the house issue, but I comb my cat at least twice a day. Barfing up hairballs is not something you want her to do on a regular basis - first because I'm sure it's unpleasant for her, and second because it sounds gross when it's happening and third because you just might step in it. Floofball

Op2 points · 2 days ago

She is confirmed to be a neva masquerade, a copy of her pedigree was available at the vets office. They did somewhat take care of her as there were annual checkups, but she did end up being underfed. We got our instructions from the vet to slowly fatten her back up to a more healthy weight.

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1 point · 2 days ago

Well that's a great ending to the story! She's truly beautiful and looks sweet!

1095966 commented on
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Op11 points · 3 days ago

Thank you. I'm not wrong to leave even if right now he's being perfect?

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3 points · 2 days ago

If anyone EVER chokes you, even once, you need to leave. Not leaving a mark, doesn’t matter, you were still abused. A crime has been committed against you. Has ONLY done it a FEW times, no, once is too much. You need to realize that your life and safety need to be more important to you than any cheating abusive guy, no matter what positive attributes he might have. Please pack and run.

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5 points · 3 days ago

I had a colleague say in response to a greeting from me, "and who might I have the pleasure of speaking to?" What? I've known this woman since around 2009. Everyone else figured it out, not this one. The only significant difference is the cap. So I guess if we were all outside and it was cold and people pulled their hoods on, she wouldn't know a soul? Lol.

I'm betting the last example you gave is more of a statement of lameness about that co-worker. Try not to let it get to you too much. Remind yourself as needed that YOU ARE STILL YOU!!!

Op2 points · 3 days ago

I also had someone ask "Am I supposed to know you?" but they were nice about it. Some people are so oblivious, since getting cancer I've been thinking people not able to recognise Superman as Clark Kent without glasses wasn't such a stretch afterall. LOL

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2 points · 2 days ago

I've come to realize I'm much more forgettable than I suspected, and that's OK. I like to fly under the radar anyway.

1095966 commented on
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10 points · 3 days ago

I haven't slept more than 6 hours a night for over 2 years. It's exhausting! 😆

But seriously, I don't know why I can't sleep anymore. I go to bed when I'm tired and yawning, usually read for a bit before falling asleep with my glasses on and sleep well for a few hours. It's generally after I use the restroom that the mind starts churning. I'll usually fall back to sleep, but not for long and then I'm just done and need to get out of bed.

For me, the churning mind is full of unknowns. Meaning, the unknown of the future, my happiness, my health, etc. Sometimes I wish I could unzip my head and put it in the shoe rack until morning. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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2 points · 3 days ago

lol, never heard the unzipping of the head comment, but so spot on!

17 points · 3 days ago

Call your doctor and let them call you in something. Get a weighted blanket and some melatonin. Hot shower before bed. I'm almost 12 months separated and still struggle some nights, hard to adjust after 20 years together.

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3 points · 3 days ago

I hear you. Was married 30 years and we still lived in the same house while he proclaimed he wouldn’t do anything to move the divorce along. It was hell. I’d always fall asleep easily enough then wake up at like 1 or 2 and be wide eyed. Only thing that helped was going to the couch and watching a shopping network or calming religious tv. Both bored me to sleep! The day he moved out, which was 10 days after the divorce was finalized I slept like the dead, best sleep ever. Time will hopefully help you.

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1095966 commented on
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1 point · 3 days ago

Im glad your experience wasnt as horrid! I had to get rid of even clothing that I got for presents and stuff, my body just rebuked anythingggg that had her essence.

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3 points · 3 days ago

Oh, don't get me wrong. My divorce was horrid, the marriage was a joke, he had checked out long ago yet wouldn't admit it. I checked out the last year of our marriage too, so I had time to get my head straight. I'm probably less sentimental and more pragmatic than the average woman, so I didn't associate him with everything. I mean, I bought him out of the house and had no problems being in it, there was no essence of him, except maybe at the couch, where he spent most of his at home time on. I did get rid of all of the furniture that he made, it was ugly blocky crap and he didn't take it so either it was sold at a yard sale or left for free at the curb. If I'd liked it, I'd have kept it.

1 point · 3 days ago

Oh ok lol… well Im still happy for you, I think your in a better place. Im going through process right now two months in and I just cannot f**** wait lol 1st discard was brutal, 2nd one not so much lets get this over with 😂😂😂

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1 point · 3 days ago

I'm 5 years out, so give yourself time! When you're in the middle of it, it does seem like an eternity!

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