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whowouldwin
896
Posted by
2 months ago

Darth Vader vs Natalie Portman

Darth Vader (Canon) gets transported to the real world and is suddenly alerted to the fact that "Padme" is alive in this universe. Naturally, he decides to track her down.

Can get to her without alerting the authorities to his true nature? And if so, what happens when he finds her?

*Assume that Ms. Portman is living in LA. Vader starts his quest in Kazakhstan.

168 comments
97% Upvoted
level 1

This would be very easy. People dressed as Darth Vader probably come up to Natalie Portman like once a week, and several a day at any convention.

958
level 2
· 2 mo. ago

I am now imagining a Borat style documentary where Vader goes on a series of misadventures pretending to be a very dedicated cosplayer as he travels from Kazakhstan to LA in search of Natalie Portman.

644
level 2

Plus, Anakin can Mind Trick/Use The Force to dominate the will of anyone who gets in his way.

58
level 2

He would need to travel without a passport and he would need to take his helmet off as well for it. I suppose he could use the force to let him pass?

13
level 2
· 2 mo. ago

How many days can vader last without repairs/resupplys for his suit?

1
level 1

Side topic: does Darth Vader have a dong? Or did it get burned off?

244
level 2
· 2 mo. ago

I would assume it got burned off, as well as his balls.

164
level 2

He fell facing downwards and the lava burned his body from the feet onwards, so the balls and dong were presumably among the body parts that burned to uselessness

bottom text

68
level 2

Pretty sure he still got one. They don’t teach stop stop and roll for no reason.

1
level 1
[deleted]
· 2 mo. ago · edited 2 mo. ago

Darth tracks down Natalie only for her to sit right down on his face and take a shit, then smash a chair over his head. He is then forced to admit that Natalie is a bad ass bitch, as well as pay for her dry cleaning.

Natalie 10/10

493
level 2
Op · 2 mo. ago · edited 2 mo. ago

Best answer.

Vader is no match for Chadme.

149
level 2
· 2 mo. ago

I kneel.

66
level 2
· 2 mo. ago

She did cheat on all the tests and snort all the yay. Also she tells children to suck her Dick and drinks until she is sick

52
level 2

Wtf is this a reference too????

39
level 2

Gotta tell ya, without the context this is a wild comment to read

48
level 2

But will he have to pay for her dry cleaning?

31
level 2

How much prep rime does she have? Is she equipped with Nitrous Oxide and a knife?

11

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