“...success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue...as the unintended side-effect of one's personal dedication to a course greater than oneself.” ― Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience
The concept of Flow was described by Mihaly to describe the state one is in when pursuing a meaningful goal and completely loses track of time.
While you are busy stacking up right skills, sports, gym, learning, business/career and going out with your bros and putting yourself in social situations. The unintended consequence of this is Flow state that you experience, it gives you a winner vibe which is highly attractive. All the mental masturbation of looking for signs of racism and he said this and she said that about Desis and stereotyping disappear when you are completely engrossed in your growth and putting yourself out there doing things that makes you happy. You don’t have time to look or even acknowledge haters and sometimes their presence catapult you to next level if you are doing it right.
All the insecurities that stems from your assumptions of who is thinking what about you makes you look and be stifled. You go through life in a box and not experience that flow state. You appear serious instead of going towards your goals with full faith while being playful cos that goal itself is meaningful even when it is arbitrary or transient. In grand scheme of things your extra toys and some nobody’s opinion of you or Desis mean nothing. It's just evolutionary speaking, monkeys flinging doodoos to engage other monkeys in their game. You are here for few decades and then in two generations no one will remember you, like you don't remember anyone two generations above you. So don't take it all too seriously (not be reckless either) and enjoy the ride. Wipe off that seriousness on your face and work on your trauma (this needs a separate posts) with a good therapist.
Cool guys and cool girls are not busy hating on internet forums leaving mean nasty comments. They are in Flow state celebrating transitory life. There are no prizes at the end but the current journey well lived is the prize. You read all the bad messages and comments on forums and take them to heart, instead just chuckle, understand what kind of person and how bad they are feeling inside that they hide behind some username and leave nasty messages about others. You wrestling with them on forums only corrupts your vibe and makes you become like them. It shows up on your face and eyes and voice creating more similar experiences.
Learn to chill, have a good smirk, laugh heartily, hang out with your bros while being fully engaged in building businesses, pursuing your career and your interests (must have them) with laser focus. Compliment your fam, friends and be happy for their success. Celebrate your and their, all big and small wins to reinforce habit of winning.
Additional musings for my desi bros cos many Y’all look too serious -
Hey, Indian guy from India here. I understand I'm not Desi diaspora but couldnt help noticing what I see as a double standard by Indian liberals both here in India and the diaspora.
They will be the first to shame and call out "white worship" in Indian media and how Indian women suffer from it. They will talk about skin lightening creams and sidelining of average looking Indian women. All these issues have gotten a massive amount of attention and now tons of dusky women are portrayed. Also, white women, who have almost never been portrayed as anything more than a background dancer in most Indian movies, are now nowhere to be found in any new Indian movie, serial or advertisement. With all this war on white women to protect Indian women's feelings, Indian men have been completely sidelined. Not only are the most Western looking Indian men chosen to play Indian characters, but white men are often given lead roles and romantic relationships with Indian women on screen, like Beecham House, the Mangal Pandey movie and others. Somehow to desis in India and abroad, the emasculation of Indian men and worship of white guys is not seen as white worship, only whatever hurts the feelings of Indian women is white worship. Even ads for Swiggy (India's top delivery service) depict white guy Indian woman dating, but I've literally never seen a white woman in an Indian advertisement, at least not anywhere near an Indian man ://media.discordapp.net/attachments/914282452887937054/1027262758103822336/-6190542282093081393_121.jpg
Anyone else notice this one sided loyalty to Indian women that people who call out "white worship" do, in media both in India and abroad?