Press J to jump to the feed. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts
Found the internet!

NonCredibleOffense

r/NonCredibleOffense

938
pinned by moderators
Posted by
3000 rainbow helicopters of Elton John
10 months ago
938
9 comments
167
Posted by8 hours ago
Post image
167
10 comments
15
Posted by22 hours ago

Chapter 1

Rusty continued: "Mugabe's got some new friends. A bunch of tribes in the dark continent with some rocket science metals but has just figured out how to leave their favorite treetop. " He paused a moment to observe John's reaction, and the reactions is certain. The story is bizarre, but the reality is even wilder. "They have some sort of superweapon according to what I've heard, but I'm not really sure about it. We'd better try to sneak in."

John signaled the others to close in on the camp, there's no way it's an observational post, it’s all exposed on the hilltop, so John is sure that this place is completely isolated, without any potential reinforcements. The team moved through dense and uncompromising foliage without the slightest sound, until reaching the edge of the bushes near the camp. Now everyone can take a far closer look at the figure. A tribal warrior wielding some sort of space alien spear, but none of them have the mood of being curious, they've got a war to fight.

John raised his rifle, no matter what space material this guy got, it's still a spear, and they have no way of fighting a real war. The camp is poorly located for the sake of communication, the previous owners are ambushed easily, but this time it's the opposite. The ones inside are relaxed, while the SAS are on high alert in the bushes, waiting to strike. He fired a shot into the spear-wielder's head, causing him to collapse onto the ground. The rest of the team also fired into his body, At the same time, three other tribal warriors rushed out of the largest tent, which is relatively intact. Spear in hand, they charged at the team. John quickly pointed his rifle from the slain sentry to the three warriors closing in. Suddenly, one of them stopped, before waving a weird-looking blanket in front of himself.

John felt the recoil from his FAL, a bullet rips through the air, only to be stopped by some sort of magical space energy atomic shield in front of the warrior with his blanket. John can literally see the round turning flat on the shield like a splattered mud ball. But there's no time for hesitation, everyone is pouring lead. One of the warriors went down before he had any time to erect his own shield. The other one crouched behind the one with the shield, which is riddled by incoming rounds but is still holding firm, and raised his spear. A lucky shot got him, however, just as he collapses, a blue beam flew over Dennis' head, it must be plasma, or laser, or energy or something out of an American movie.

Rusty produced a shortened M79, fired a 40mm round at the guy with the shield, but it missed and hit the large tent. The WP round explodes, creating white phosphorus particles flying everywhere, incinerating the tent completely. Meanwhile, Halby ran to the left, hip firing his AKM into the unprotected side of the warrior. The first few rounds did little to the men as he is high on adrenaline, but after half a mag, the man collapsed along with his magic shield, before trying to get down on his feet, only to be shot by the entire team. After putting a round each into the downed men, Chuck reloads his FAL.

John and Rusty raced to the big tent, as it may contain things that might tell them about what they are up with. But the damage has already done, the tent is up in flames. John is puzzled by all the shitshow happening around, so are the rest of the team. Only Rusty seems to have some vague idea about what's going on. Only one thing is certain, this op has nothing to do with Mugabe. They searched through the camp, found three dirt covered pits probably used as some sort of grave for the previous owner for the hideout. The bodies are probably rotten and there won't be any useful intel left. There was a crate with several .30-06 mags inside. Practically useless for the team, as nobody is running a BAR. Halby booby trapped the corpses, they decided to retreat just before John discovered an old trail, which indicates a large group of people had walked over the place. Rusty patted him on the shoulder, signaling him to retreat to a safer position. There could be reinforcements on the way.

Rusty offered a context for his previous claim: "Remember the party last month? Ever wandered what I was doing while you guys are busy flirting with the girls? I saw "Rodent" Robert, the CIA guy embedded with us back in 'Nam. By the time I got near him, he was drunk and murmuring about something that CIA is after. I got him back on the stool, right after taking his shoe and sensitive docs inside it. By the time he's sober, I've read the dumbest science fiction ever written. These tribal guys could turn the tide of the entire Cold War into a worse direction. Luckily, as far as the three-letter agencies are concerned, right now they are just a bunch of primitive bastards with spears made of super metal. However, if the reds ever get their hand on these weapons, it's game over. We are the first line against socialism."

John remembers seeing a tent in the camp with four bedrolls inside, there were only three graves, meaning a prisoner taken. HQ might have lied to them, but they have no other choice, they have to survive, adapt, and overcome. He sat down, making a briefing for the team

15
9 comments
160
Posted by2 days ago
Post image
160
10 comments
136
Crossposted by2 days ago
Posted by2 days ago
Post image
6.4k points
136
18 comments
124
Crossposted by3 days ago
Posted by3 days ago
Got the WHelpfulSilverAll-Seeing Upvote
Post image
5.8k points
124
6 comments
14
Posted by2 days ago
14
3 comments

About Community

Geminis use JDAMs
Created Jan 17, 2022

4.8k

Members

26

Online

Top 10%

Ranked by Size

r/NonCredibleOffense Rules

1.
Don’t get me sent to Guantanamo
2.
This is a Douglas MacArthur thought subreddit
3.
Heated Bosnia moment
4.
Not defense or funni

Moderators

Moderator list hidden. Learn More