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Baby Bumps

r/BabyBumps

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Posted by6 hours ago
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Posted by23 hours ago
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Posted by11 hours ago
GoldSilver

My husband is thousands of dollars in debt because of Only Fans and we have a 3 month old son.

I found my husbands second phone (he has 3 so I’ve found out). The phone and his paper trail show he’s been paying thousands for only fans since 2020. He has transactions on my birthday 2020/2021/2022, my miscarriage that almost cost me my life date and on the day our son was born via emergency c-section. (Those are just the ones that hurt the most)

I lost my best friend, 10 years we’ve been together happily or so I thought and I’m really not okay. We have a 3 month old baby, and he hasn’t been interested in our new life, therefore I knew something was up. He was wonderful up until he wasn’t and I started to fish. After so much gaslighting and your crazies- I found horrible things. So much debt, so many secret credit cards, he was paying thousands for the girlfriend experience, Air bnb charges and Meet up dates. I’m a fool. I was paying for everything all the bills, trips, extras in our life. I figured he was saving his money. He fooled his best friends, his family, my family. $30,000 in debt from only fans. His explanation was he was addicted to the thrill and the attention. He has a problem and needs help he said and after saying he closed all 3 of his OF accounts, I found that he was signed back up again. He’s still denying so much of it, even an affair with a co worker. I’d love to wake up from this nightmare any day now but I guess it’s my new reality.

I love him dearly, but I have to walk away. I hope he gets the help he needs. I guess I just came here to hear some encouraging words that waking away is the best thing to do and I’ll be okay. Thanks

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Posted by
35 | 10-24-22 | FTM
3 hours ago

Hi all! I received overwhelming support (thank you!!!) on my post from a few days ago about a negative interaction I had with an OB. I went back yesterday as scheduled, and wanted to share an update.

Original post here.

TLDR on OG post: Saw a different provider. BP was slightly elevated. Provider was dismissive and unhelpful. Actually walked out on me. I cried a lot.

A note: on Wednesday afternoon, I had three straight hours of painful, moderate-to-severe menstrual-cramp like contractions, timing between every 3-8 minutes. L&D advised me not to come in unless I a) really wanted an exam or b) the contractions were so painful they "stopped me in my tracks." Unfortunately they fizzled out after three hours and I have not had my baby.

Yesterday's appointment: Yesterday was my follow-up with the rude provider from Tuesday. She put in my chart that she wanted me to see her and no one else (my OB, whom I adore, is on hospital rounds this week for L&D), so I was unable to reschedule with the practice NP. I decided to keep the appointment since there was concern about my blood pressure. I showed up for my 1 PM, and no one could get in touch with her. She was in the hospital, but wasn't answering any of the pages. The CNA took me back and had me go ahead and give my urine sample (still no protein!) and measurements (my BP was back to normal at 120/82!) so my preeclampsia fears have been assuaged (more on this later).

The CNA put me in a room and I waited. And waited. And waited. I ended up making myself a little nest on the table with some gowns and took a freaking nap! In all, I waited over an hour and a half, and the provider never showed up. Finally, the CNA came to check on me and said that they couldn't find her, she wasn't answering her pages, and they were baffled as to why she put in my chart that I should see only her. I confessed about my negative experience with the doctor on Tuesday, and the CNA instantly jumped into action (bless her!). She ushered me into another room, and within 5 minutes had a different OB in with me.

The new OB was amazing. Honestly I think I like her even more than my regular doc, lol. She was super patient and sweet. She spent a solid 20 minutes with me and was so helpful. Answered all of my questions. She said that there was no concern of preeclampsia at this point, that I likely just had a momentary spike. She advised me to keep monitoring a couple of times a day at home, but that as long as it stays within the acceptable range there is no concern. She gave me a cervical check like I had originally wanted, and said that I'm still at 4 cm but that "realistically she could argue it's 5 because she could have stretched it more." She said my cervix is paper thin, and that she could touch the baby's head. I feel validated about that last point because holy shit, I've been swearing up and down that I can feel him grinding against my cervix, it's so painful!!

Outcome of the appointment: I asked for a membrane sweep or induction yesterday (lol you can tell by my post history that pregnancy has not been fun for me) and she confirmed that they can't do either without a medical reason before 39 weeks, as I expected. However she scheduled an induction for me next Monday (hallelujahhhhhhh we have a hard stop!!!!) but said she still thinks I'm within days of having this kid. She did tell me that next time I have prolonged contractions, to just call L&D and tell them I'm coming--that because I am so dilated they will just move things along. I've been having contractions for a few days now but have yet to hit the one hour mark again, so fingers crossed it picks up soon. Prodromal labor is so exhausting.

THANK YOU to everyone who offered such nice words of support when I posted about my OG experience on Tuesday!! I really appreciate all of the advice and validation that I am not crazy for being upset. I appreciate all of you!

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Posted by17 hours ago

Edit: I’m awed by the sheer amount of support here. Thank you all so much. This is my second pregnancy, and responses have definitely heightened since my daughter was born in 2020. We’re a very pro-therapy family, my husband especially. I was seeing a therapist for PPD but never really delved into my abuse because that part was shut off for so long. I’m going to start searching for a new therapist more specialized in my trauma. Thank you again for all the love and suggestions.

I’m 35 weeks pregnant with a history of childhood SA.

Tonight my husband was being silly and went to tickle my underbelly by my pants line and my brain went danger so I quickly angled my belly away from him and prepped a fist while still kind of laughing and carrying on. He could obviously see the change and I explained I got freaked out for a second not knowing what he was doing thinking he was going to shove his hands down my pants, it was a split second reaction. He never has done a single thing to warrant this reaction, I just consider it a brain blip due to my current state of extreme vulnerability. I’m not fast, I’m huge, exhausted, labor feels imminent, etc.

Logically he gets it, but he started crying and his feelings were just hurt that he could elicit such a response. And he’s mad I’ve ever had to feel that way.

I feel like a feral creature on instincts and just hope I’m not the only one who’s a lot more raw at this point (or any) in pregnancy.

Any points to help my husband are appreciated as well, though I think this might just be a “better in the morning” situation.

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