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I am a shared account.
27 days ago
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Posted by11 hours ago
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Posted by14 hours ago
Are You Serious?WholesomeSilverBurning Cash
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Posted by10 hours ago

original post here

Hello everyone I took all of the advice to heart and me and my fiancé had a sit down and looked at the comments together and we agreed we both need to grow spines. Our wedding planner is truly a saint and had no problem setting up passwords with vendors like some people suggested and it was a great suggestion so thank you.

We then invited my mom to dinner and told her that she has to stop trying to help us with the wedding.

It started off bad as she brought her binder and had her own wedding dress in her car. Her dress is in very bad condition, would not fit either me or my fiancé and is quite frankly hideous. I would never say that to her face, though I've told her every time she's asked that I want to pick out my own dress and she should keep hers for if she wants to get remarried.

She assumed that we had invited her to apologize and let her plan the wedding however she wanted. How she jumped to that conclusion I have no idea.

We lied about not wanting her to get overly stressed in the hope she'd take it better then telling her that she's been causing problems and that she hasn't been helpful.

She didn't take it well and started crying, and saying all she ever wanted was for me to have the perfect wedding and she'd already given up getting the perfect son in law and grandchildren so at the least we could let her plan the wedding. It stunned us both as she has never said a bad word about me liking women, not when I came out, not when I got my first girlfriend, not when me and my fiancé got engaged.

That put me over the edge and I told her that she wasn't going to plan anything, she was a guest and nothing more and I would be cutting her speech if she was going to behave like a child. She had a full on tantrum so me and my fiancé paid and left her to cry and scream in the restaurant.

That was all fine and dandy until our florist called to tell us my mom had called to try and get the flower arrangements changed behind our back. I called her and she tried to lie until she realized she was backed into a corner and admitted to doing it because she knew what was best and was trying to help.

Needless to say that I've now uninvited her from the wedding with the full support of my fiancé and my soon to be MIL and FIL.

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Posted by14 hours ago
HelpfulWholesome

I’m a black mother of two 12 year old twins and I remarried my husband in the summer so it’s our first Christmas together. It is important that my husband and his son are Caucasian. Anyway I was putting up our Christmas tree and decorations because it’s time and it’s the last Sunday before the kids get swamped with finals and we like to do it together. I asked my husband and stepson if they’d like to join and they said yes. Now as we’re putting stuff up my husband starts making commentary on how everything is black. I have little black nutcracker ornaments and statues and we have a little Christmas village full of black people. I shrugged it off and we kept going until it was time to bring out the angel tree topper. It was a black angel and my husband stopped me and pulled me to the kitchen. He said we couldn’t have all these “black” decorations when we were now a mixed family and that we had to go and get some regular nutcrackers and people for the village as well as a regular tree topper.

This is where I might come off cold but I said no. No discussion, just no. I told him that if we ever left this house, him and his kids would get to see regular decorations and tree toppers and Santa and all that stuff outside but my kids wouldn’t get the same and the least they deserved was to walk into their house and see decorations that looked like them. Plus it took me a really long time to find all my decorations and I was going to give them to my kids when they moved out. So no.

He said I was being selfish and unwelcoming and that it wasn’t fair for his son to have to leave the house to feel like he belonged. I told him it wasn’t the same and he asked me to explain how but I wasn’t in the mood to have such a heavy discussion so I just shook my head and told him to read a book. I don’t know, was I too harsh? Should I go get some non black decorations? Will this really affect my stepson negatively? I don’t want him to feel like he doesn’t belong but I don’t think that’s even possible. AITA?

Edit for the most asked questions. My step son is 10. We spent Christmas together but never at my house because I usually spend it with my family. My kids and I did Christmas at my moms and then I would go be with him that night. I’m hosting Christmas this year because my mom says I’m finally married again and so it’s my turn. He didn’t have any decorations at his apartment and when I asked he said he just wasn’t a big decorations guy. Also yes he did say “regular” that wasn’t inferred. That word is straight from his lips to this post. Also when he said “we need to go out and get regular decorations” I don’t know if he meant as replacements or as a add on but I took it to mean “as a replacement” to make his son more comfortable which is why I shut it down immediately. He went out with some friends tonight so I’ll see if we can have a conversation about it when he gets back. Thank you for all your comments :)

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Posted by6 hours ago
Comments are locked

I (23F) paused the internet on every single device in the apartment because my husband (23M) refused to get off of the game to give our 8mo son a bath on time. I know this sounds like YTA but let me explain, there’s a lot of background information that went into this decision. My husband does not help with the household whatsoever. Doesn’t wash dishes, do laundry, clean any room of the house, cook dinner, etc. He’ll get home and throw off his uniform onto the floor and leave it there until the next day. If the house is dirty, he’ll chide me and tell me that I don’t do anything, I don’t clean enough, I don’t cook dinner enough, etc.

Our biggest issue is the baby. I am the main caretaker for our son 99.9% of the time. I get up with him during the night when he wakes up crying. My husband will here or there, but he’ll start screaming at me about how he needs his rest and I need to get up. If our son is sick, I’m the one that takes off work. I’ve missed almost 6 week of work in the past 3 months because my husband wouldn’t even ask his supervisor if he could stay home one of those days. I’m the one that gets up at 6 am and stays up with our son until about 12pm-1PM and that’s when I tell my husband he needs to get up and take care of the baby so I can take a nap (he sleeps anywhere from 8-14hrs a day while I take a nap between 1-4hrs). Once I get up, he complains that I’ve been sleeping “all day” while he’s been taking care of the baby by himself and I’m lazy.

I recently got promoted to E-5 after being up 3 times in a row and taking a hard exam that I studied for. My husband unfortunately didn’t make it this time around and is still an E-3, and he blames me for it, saying if he didn’t have to transfer after a year at his previous command he would’ve made it. My husband told me that it’s not a surprise that I made it because my job is easy and all we do is sit at computers all day while he works out in the sun and cold on equipment (I’m in intelligence and he’s got a manual labor job). Then he’ll say he’s joking and didn’t mean to be rude, but this is a constant thing he does. I paused the game tonight because every night we feed our son and give him a bath at 7pm on the dot. He’s always had this routine. After I fed the baby, I told my husband that it was time for the bath (after I already laid out all the baby supplies and clothes for after bath) and my husband told me to “just sit the baby down in the playpen until he’s done with the game”. I gently told him no, that it’s bedtime and I wasn’t going to shift our son’s routine so he could play the game for an extra half hour and my husband needs to learn to prioritize. I then paused the game and my husband flew off the handle, threatening to break my phone and refused to give our son a bath and called me lazy for not doing it instead. My husband literally hops on the game and plays from the moment he wakes up to the moment he goes to sleep.

AITA?

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Posted by6 hours ago

I 23M have a son, 5months with my current girlfriend 19F. I moved back in with my mom 6 months ago due to not being able to keep up with payments on my apartment. My mom is allowing us to stay in the extra room.

I work full time and I make $20/hr, but between me providing for my son and my gf not working, I have been needing the extra help and since my mom lives here and we are all in the same household, I sometimes ask her for help with babysitting (this isn’t often). I feel that since we are family and live together, I should be able to get some help with him, it is my first child and it is extremely overwhelming, I didn’t know how hard this was going to be.

My mom refused, saying that I am using her for babysitting too much, saying that my gf and I are becoming a burden to her and she expressed that since I was living with her for the first 3 months rent free, that it’s becoming frustrating that I haven’t been able to pay the back rent that she keeps asking me for and she told me that she’s behind 2 checks because her job messed up her pay when she first started. I told her that I understand but I reminded her that I pay for gas on her car that I use and that I go half on car insurance with her, since we share her car.

My mom said that she feels I am taking advantage of her because she feels I can’t manage my money correctly, ask to borrow too much and ask for babysitting but I told her that I don’t feel I ask for much and I told her I didn’t understand why she wouldn’t make time to help babysit her grandson when it’s clear we’re struggling.

AITA?

Edit- I’m reading comments where everyone is saying I don’t pay rent. For clarification, the rent my mom is in reference to is the ($1650) 3 months back-rent that I owe her, I am still giving her current rent of $550/month.

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A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered!
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